I met up with a close friend of mine last night. She told me she was having this "love problem." Well, whatever that means. :) So, we had dinner and she told me the scenario. It was a classic case of karma. She had a boyfriend which she sort of took for granted when they were still together and when the guy was trying to get back with her, she said no. Nada. Never again. After a few months, she realized she really loves the guy. Now she's the one who's trying to get back with him but he said no. Nada. I can't blame him. It is quite scary. Now she's sad of course with regret written on her face. It hit me because I'm so afraid to be in that same scenario. I can't ever imagine myself feeling that way. I think I'd rather die. ;P Sometimes I'm scared that GOD might punish me and put me in that situation. Yikes. Why? Well, sometimes I think I'm selfish and I have so much pride in me that I tend to not care at all when I'm in a relationship. It's like I have this protective sheild because maybe I don't want to get hurt. I'm not so sure but when it comes to my family and friends, I can safely say that I can risk everything for them. I mean I will do anything for them because I want them to be happy but when it comes to more intimate relationships I tend to hold back. Someone once told me that when you get to love someone, you should love until the tip of your fingertips. You know, anything less than mediocre love is not love at all. I don't know why but somehow I can't apply this. I mean I'm actually aware that there's a possibility for me to not be married and have kids. Sheesh. My friend even told me maybe it's because I haven't met "the one". Maybe. Maybe not.
